This is funny... men beware...
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
"Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said,
"Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a brothel and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said,
"New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication but then thought "that's really not so bad."
When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw and said,
"New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said,
"New house, new madam, new girls, but the same old customers....hi Keith"
VANCOUVER -The cauldron of the Paralympic Winter Games will blaze to life in this western Canadian city Friday, starting the competition between athletes with disabilities from 45 countries in a games running parallel to the Olympics. 
LONDON -Troubled Premier League club Portsmouth received a boost in their attempt to avoid liquidation on Thursday as the British tax authority accepted the team's move into administration. 
MADRID -Real Madrid keeper Iker Casillas apologised Thursday for his side's elimination from the Champions League at the last-16 stage for the sixth consecutive season and said the players are to blame. 
NEW DELHI -Two-time defending champions Germany stormed into the final of the men's field hockey World Cup with an emphatic 4-1 win over lacklustre England on Thursday. 
MANAMA -Formula One title favourite Fernando Alonso did his best on Thursday to play down his prospects of landing his third world championship. 
MENDE, France -Spain's Alberto Contador secured a Paris-Nice double whammy on Thursday by winning the race's fourth stage amid wintry conditions here, becoming the overall leader in the process. 
BIRMINGHAM, England -Malaysia's Lee Chong Wei beat Sony Dwi of Indonesia on Thursday to become the first player to book their place in the quarter-finals of the men's singles at the All-England Open. 
LONDON -China's three rising stars face intriguing matches in the first round of the World Snooker Championship, while John Higgins will start his bid to retain the title with a clash against Barry Hawkins at Sheffield's Crucible Theatre. 
NEW DELHI -Four-time champions Pakistan slumped to an embarrassing 3-2 defeat by Canada on Thursday to finish last for the first time in the men's field hockey World Cup. 
TOKYO -Japan's teenage golf star Ryo Ishikawa said Thursday he had done his homework ahead of a second Masters bid before departing for a clutch of tournaments in the United States. 
