SUNDAY HUMOUR This could be a true story.
Owing to an unfortunate matter of translation, Pakistani diplomat Akbar Zeb will not become the next Pakistani ambassador to Saudi Arabia.
Mr Zeb's credentials are impressive: he is the former envoy to the United States, India, South Africa and Canada. But despite his impressive career, his name proved to be an immovable hurdle.
When translated into Arabic, it means "Large penis".
In a region that stresses modesty in public, this could not stand.
Akbar is a customary Muslim name meaning "great", and while Zeb is not an uncommon Pakistani name, in Arabic it is a slang reference to the penis and never used in polite conversation.
Obviously the diplomat's Arab hosts felt that references to "His Excellency the Big Dick" would not go over well.
A Saudi cultural critic said, "The media wouldn't dare to publish a name like this. So every time he would be in the media they would have to face the name issue, and it would make it difficult to work with him.
That would be an embarrassment for Pakistan."
Said an analyst, "You cannot just pronounce that name. It's too awkward.
How would he be announced at events? How would he be written about?"
According to the Arab Times, this is the third instance of an Arabic-speaking country refusing Mr Zeb's ambassadorship.
David Kenner of Foreign Policy magazine wrote that the issue was a source of embarrassment for Pakistan. "One can only assume that submitting Zeb's name to Arabic-speaking countries is some unique form of punishment designed by the Pakistani Foreign Ministry," he wrote,
"Or the result of a particularly egregious cock-up."
TENGKU Razaleigh Hamzah's declared stand that he would remain in Umno for life should be respected, said Umno Supreme Council member Dr Rais Yatim. 
PETALING JAYA - The government will introduce the old-age and self-employed pension schemes, possibly by the middle of next year, under the government's caring concept, Human Resource Minister S. Subramaniam said Sunday. 
SRI AMAN - NCR land lawyer Dominique Ng, who is also a PKR leader, believes that the battle in safeguarding Native Customary Rights land has to be waged on both the judicial and political fronts. 
KLANG - The Selangor government has selected four companies to carry out the Klang River rehabilitation and development project, which is part of the state's economic stimulus package, unveiled last year. 
JAKARTA – A powerful quake with a magnitude of 7.0 hit off the eastern Indonesian island of Maluku on Sunday, seismologists said, but no tsunami warning was issued. 
LONDON - Didier Drogba sent Chelsea back to the top of the Premier League on Saturday but Arsenal stayed right on their heels thanks to a stoppage-time victory over ten-man Hull.
MIAMI -Ernie Els played so badly last week that he went back to basics in an effort to find some form. Oh what a difference a week makes.
A NEW UNDP report on the status of women should discomfit most of Asia's leaders. 
NEW YORK – South Korea's Samsung Electronics giant has unveiled the world's first 3-D TV technology aimed at revolutionizing the home viewing experience. 
KUALA LUMPUR - Nearly 50 per cent of credit card holders declared bankrupt were under 30 years of age, according to figures from Bank Negara Malaysia. 
KUCHING – Gladys Tan Yee Kim still cannot believe that she is the country's top student in the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) 2009 examination. 
EDINBURGH – A Scottish whisky firm on Thursday unveiled bottles of what it claims is the oldest single malt whisky in the world, having spent the best part of a century inside an oak barrel. 
