LIFESTYLE Love for a dating couple can be a long romantic dream until they awake to an "alarm clock".

Read my lips, it is called "marriage".

In fact, the infamous quip, "love is blind" rings so pathetically true for romantic lovebirds, as passionately depicted in the old classic tear-jerker, Shakespearean play "Romeo and Juliet".

So do not blame them for being oblivious to the magic of uncertainty as they walk on the slippery path towards the institution of marriage.

As American comedian Groucho Max vouched that marriage is indeed a wonderful institution but tongue-in-cheek said, "But who wants to live in an institution?"

Why do people still get married in spite of the often quoted "three-ring circus" - the frightening potential of a union that sounds like "engagement ring, wedding ring and suffer-ring?"

Nothing is as it seems in marriage anymore. Absolutely nobody knows what the immediate or even long-term future holds for the newly wedded couple.

The "death-do-us-part" in modern society is beginning to sound like "loveless-do-us-part".

Why do people still get married?

The reason for getting married because love makes the world go round seems frivolous.

Millions are immune to the old-fashioned four letter word or uninfected by the love-bug.

It makes the old fashioned saying that "marriage is made in heaven" sounds a bit hollow as divorces continue to soar around the globe. But that is another story.

So are you convinced that you should get married?

It is the oldest universal practice. Marriage first started being used as a formal union among the earliest recorded history of western culture believed to be early pre-Hebrew nomadic tribes in Mesopotamia.

But believe it or not, the century-old practice of marriage was used as a means in which to manage and control wealth and property. Did I mention the magical word, "love"?

Read my lips, "No".

During that time, men being power-mongers, tooke wives to gain wealth or trade daughters to share it under the maternal system as true lineage.

True lineage could only be traced through the mother's side, family property, livestock and food stores were attached to the female members of the tribe or family.

Does this mean that people then got married because of wealth? Human nature remains the same since the cradle of civilisation begun no matter where.

It makes logic?

Most astute thinkers believed that marriage means different things to different people.

It makes great logic and like the Chinese idiom correctly pointed out-" yi yang mi yang bai yang ren".

One type of grain feeds hundred types of people (of different natures or characters).

We have heard it all.

Some of the common reasons: it is just the right thing to do at the time, for love companionship of a lifetime commitment.

But as social norms and standard behaviour underwent a complex revolutionary change in mindsets and cultural erosion, even the "shot-gun" marriage is considered acceptable in the modern game of love.

Believing that people get married solely because they are head over heals in love seemed to be gliding over the reality that real marriages is just a silly piece of paper.

No, the most dangerous food a man can eat is not his wedding cake. Perhaps for every ten divorces, there is a "real" marriage.

There are perfect couples with marriages made in heaven despite occasional hiccups and sleeping on the sofa, for the man, of course.

But still it does not answer the illusive simple question, why do people get married?

Getting away from the folks

Perhaps, accomplished motivational speaker Isaac Madengu Mangatu could help us with some complex pointers. "There are many poor reasons for getting married," he says.

Some of these are: (for modern day Juliet), marrying to get away from parents. Marrying because the guy is wanted by many gals and you want him yourself.

For today's Romeo, marrying because every friend of yours is married. The list is endless, including reasons like marrying to get respect at work or just to please your family.

From religious reasons to the ringgit-and-sen which people cite as reasons for getting married, the consolation is just the tip of the iceberg, despite not necessary appear on the scorecard of a happy or broken marriage.

More importantly, people should never get married unless it is to the right person and it is the right time, in terms of the couple's commitment to a marriage.

But when is the right time? You may ask. The wise one is likely to reply: "When the right time is right, you will know. If you don't know, then you are not ready."

It takes more than the sixth sense for those intending to tie up the knots of the 'suffer-ring" that the marriage ahead should not be a competition but a partnership.

Yes, believe it or not, getting married is the opening of a new lease of life for two people. The life ahead will include happiness and sadness and a new path towards mutual fulfilment.

As marriage consultants chirped incessantly true on the ingredients of a happy marriage: maturity, wisdom, self-control, patience and a large dose of daily affection and compassion.

People might get married for the wrong reasons but even for those marrying for the right reasons, everybody will soon realise marriages made in heaven is a myth, except in happy fairytales read to children before bedtime.

Thunder, lightning also

"They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning," says movie celebrity Clint Eastwood.

If you have no reasons for getting married, perhaps you can take a leaf of advice from the classical Greek philosopher Socrates on your next move. "By all means get married (without any reason), if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher".

Don't get me wrong, there are great and happy marriages. Real happiness from a marriage is made from love and understanding, so says the marriage councillor.

Positive qualities are always wanting in a marriage and no two persons, whatever reasons for getting married, should jump into getting married without mutual agreement on what they expect from each other and what they hope to achieve.

Believe the ancient advice from Greek philosopher Euripides (484-406 BC) who said, "Man's best possession is a sympathetic wife".

Perhaps, that will be your best reason for getting married.